In past generations, it was generally accepted that in order for children to learn, they needed to be held responsible for their misbehaviours by being punished. This may have come in the form of physical punishment like spankings, through threats and intimidation, or by taking away privileges or possessions.

The thought was that if we don’t show them who’s boss and gain control over them, they will take control of us. The goal, however, should not be to control a child’s behaviour, but to guide her towards self-control.  This way, she will develop the ability to think about and adjust her own behaviour without relying on someone else to correct her.

But if you don’t punish bad behaviour, what should you do?

  • In past generations, it was generally accepted that in order for children to learn, they needed to be held responsible for their misbehaviours by being punished. This may have come in the form of physical punishment like spankings, through threats and intimidation, or by taking away privileges or possessions.
  • The thought was that if we don’t show them who’s boss and gain control over them, they will take control of us.
  • The goal, however, should not be to control a child’s behaviour, but to guide her towards self-control.  This way, she will develop the ability to think about and adjust her own behaviour without relying on someone else to correct her.
  • But if you don’t punish bad behaviour, what should you do?